October 16, 2003


the days stretch with cancer
it's a disease of exponential cell growth
and it has infected time itself

the night contracts with apoptosis
its fringes burning away
my eyes open, and salty with tears
before I even understand I've been asleep at all

dawn and voices
bring the sameness of activity again
the morning eases into afternoon
and from visitor to visitor
and teacup to cake to dinner plates
and dishwashing
pleasantries stacked one upon the other

my mother's vacuum droning
sucking up the debris
the remains of a thousand feet
moving through this house
coming to be near him
near to the cancer
like mute witnesses
maybe under their breath
they are cursing what lies beneath his skin
mocking us all
as he looks healthy for long moments
until his face winces in pain
at the battle beneath his rib cage
I want to be by his side
for as long as my consciousness will allow me
this is why I am awake so late
and tired during endless days
and as lonely as a star
trying to bring light to a darkening universe
while my own core burns out slowly


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